I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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