is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize