I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
