My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
