I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
