called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
