Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
