My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
