Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
