DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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