YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
