His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
