The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
