Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize