...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
