You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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