shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
