shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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