i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
