so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
