we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
