Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
