why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
