2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
