My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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