That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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