Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
