She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
