I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
