I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
