I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
