I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
