I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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