Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
