You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
vagina is talking i cant
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
