Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
