yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize