me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
