3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
