Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Do you still have your period?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
