I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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