i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the condom got lost in my hair
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
