I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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