i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
