My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
