Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize