i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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