you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
