Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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