you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
