dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
