Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize