Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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