This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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