you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
