did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Shame - the story of my life.
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