real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
