we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize