Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
