We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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