guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
