I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
