i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
