community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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