farters have to be the big spoon...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Boobs are out for the taking
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
