k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they need to just BURY HIM!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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