we're blogging at a bar
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
