She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
