I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
