how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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