And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
