whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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