Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
