do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
