Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
